!!! Safety First !!!
Would you like to see the movie? Not so fast. This is not going to be your standard popcorn-movie experience. The weaker ones may need diapers; some may puke their guts out; some may shit their brains out. Remember what your mama said: "What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger." Only the brave and strong will experience the full flavor of the Opium Ocean. Only the prepared will be able to smell petrol fumes, blood, and hardcore tire burnouts. Only the chosen ones will reach the full high of the movie experience.
But no one is born strong—you have to prepare. Therefore, we put together the Opium Ocean Safety Manual.
Dare to get ready for the ride? Or another one?
Warning! You will not be able to purchase movie tickets without showing a Safety Examination Certificate with your name and ID.
More information is coming soon at apsits.com. Please be patient. Meanwhile, follow the hashtag #opiumocean and study the information on @apsits Instagram.
More information is coming soon at apsits.com. Please be patient. Meanwhile, follow the hashtag #opiumocean and study the information on @apsits Instagram.
Opium Ocean Safety Program is Safe.
To assure your premium safety, we tested our program on human twins. Peter and Tenis were born on the same day, from the same mother—probably from different fathers. They are totally different characters, therefore perfect test subjects.
Tenis was such a pussy before training. In contrast, Peter was mega hardcore. Peter lives in the countryside in a single 3×4m room with his chickens, naked girl posters, and... well, this is creepy, but it’s fucking real, I swear to you. When I once visited him, there was my portrait—cut from an old issue of Kultūras Diena—pinned to the wall between naked boobs. It was surreal, creepy, and somehow heartwarming. I even gave him a small role in the movie, so you’ll meet him later.
Just look at how strong, brave, and healthy the brothers were on the day of their graduation from the safety program. They even got their humor back—and Tenis came up with this silly, stupid rhyme:
"Peter & Tenis,
together we are Penis,
strong and healthy,
brutally stealthy."
together we are Penis,
strong and healthy,
brutally stealthy."
Aren’t you convinced to take your first step too?
Welcome to the first day of training.
